The best advice I ever received when it came to be divorcing the narcissist was this: Document. Document. Document. There is nothing more powerful in a court or in front of an attorney than your story.
First, writing is therapeutic. You need to write to heal and help your case—so document everything. Psychologists have proven that writing can facilitate a faster road to healing. You are putting your pain and sadness on paper and, in some ways, letting it go.
Secondly, your documentation can stand up in a court of law. It is one thing for your attorney to tell a judge, “My client has suffered abuse at her husband’s hands for ten years.” It carries so much more weight when your attorney can ask the judge to admit pages and pages of documentation about the abuse into court. The judge will likely think, “Oh, there is some validity to this woman’s (or man’s) claim.
If you think you might be in a relationship with a narcissist, I highly recommend signing up for my course, Girl, Get Out that I will be teaching live on November 9th. This course is great for any man or woman looking to get out of a narcissistic relationship. I learned the hard way: I suffered through 40-years of narcissistic abuse.
I grew up with a narcissistic parent, then married a narcissist and stayed with him for many years. Narcissists can’t really love or change, and I understand how the damage accumulates. This course is for anyone who is involved with a narcissist and wants to emotionally and physically leave and start a journey to true love. Save your spot HERE.
Where do you keep your documentation? My husband goes through EVERYTHING.
Lori, I have a private email account and a Dropbox on line. I access these on my burner phone the old fashioned way, logging in from google. Clear out your history on your phone. Clear out anything you’ve searched. I also keep the burner phone charged and hidden. It has a long password to open it. I’ve used that to access the private email and Dropbox. Make sure you keep the burner phone off. And change the hiding place weekly. He may have one of those “Find My Friends” type app hidden on your regular phone. Or a keystroke log on your home computer. Never access your private accounts from those devices. Best wishes. You’re not alone. And don’t forget to gray rock him. 🤫
I understand it would not be wise to “label” your spouse as Narcissistic in front of a judge. My spouse wrote in an email to me after one of his many rages that he has “personality issues” ( and more)”. Is this something I can use in court?