One of the reasons many of us have stayed in a toxic relationship is the kids. We think we are doing them a favor or positively impacting their life if we remain in the relationship. Scientists and researchers at the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University coined the phrase “toxic stress” several years ago. Toxic stress can be defined as the stress a child experiences when no one intervenes.
In a healthy family, the parents meet the children’s needs emotionally, physically, intellectually, and spiritually. It is difficult to meet these needs when there is toxicity in the household, or you co-parenting has been a disaster lately.
It is clear what most state judges say: children belong to their biological parents. I am telling you this so you don’t live under a notion that you will completely isolate your kids from the narcissist. From what I’ve learned, very few family court judges are going to remove a child entirely from the other parent. If you can prove abuse with documentation, you stand a much better chance of that parent losing some visitation rights. But the court’s objective is usually to make sure the children are with mom and dad when possible.
If you have children, one of the scariest parts of divorce is that you must co-parent with the ex. When you add a narcissist as one of the parents, you may worry that the narcissist’s flaws will damage your child forever. Co-parenting with a narcissist is seldom easy, but here’s some hope.
In my brand new course called Girl, Get Out I go into full detail on how to find the right attorney for you in the divorce process, ways to keep your children as far out of the drama as possible, while still making sure their needs are met in a healthy way, and much more! If you are planning on leaving the narcissist, but are holding back because of the kids, you should sign up for my live course that begins on November 9th. This course will give you the tools to do this right. You can sign up HERE.