Most narcissists have anger that lies just below the exterior of their persona. When anger does surface, it can be ugly. Unfortunately, the punishment never seems to fit the crime when you are dealing with a narcissist. Here are three phrases that make a narcissist boil over, even if that person was only simmering before.
1. Can you show me evidence or proof?
A narcissist is always right, so how dare you question that person! A narcissist cannot stand to be invalidated, and by asking them a question about a statement or belief they’ve expressed, they feel like you are calling them a liar.
We know that narcissists perpetually lie but be careful on how you call it out. Decide if it’s a battle worth fighting first. Choose your battles.
2. I can see how you can see it that way.
Narcissists are emotionally intelligent enough to hear the doubt in this phrase. So you are telling them that yes, they can have their own opinion, just as you do. But, you are saying that you don’t necessarily agree with him.
Narcissists grow angry when there isn’t full compliance.
This phrase, often used by teenagers worldwide, means disrespect towards the person it’s spoken to. It can also mean dismissal or this conversation is over.
A narcissist never wants to be irrelevant, so this dismissal can send them into a rage. They want to be the center of attention or admiration, with the world revolving around them. Therefore, you are expected to say “yes, ma’am” or “yes, sir,” not rebuke them with a “maybe.”
Before you use one of these three phrases
The critical thing to remember is that with a narcissist, there is never a conversation. There is no discussion or meeting in the middle. So the narcissist is right – always.
If this type of reaction often occurs in your home, it may be time to reconsider the efforts you put into staying. As one survivor said, “It’s not walking on eggshells. Being around a narcissist who may explode is like walking on glass.”