Dr. Carter and I joined TikTok last week, and we have had fun packing in as much information as possible into 45 seconds or less. However, I noticed a strange occurrence: the video with the most interest was about making a narcissist miserable. Viewers want narcissists to have payback.
Keep in mind
I think it’s important to remember that narcissists are already miserable people due to their personality disorders. Cluster B personality disorders are characterized by dramatic, overly emotional, or unpredictable thinking or behavior. They include antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder.
Research shows that narcissism can be caused by one or a combination of two factors: genes and the environment. Some narcissists report feeling like something isn’t right, such as their lack of empathy and emotions. They may understand that something in their childhood was “off,” teaching them not to bother when they inadvertently or purposefully hurt others.
Some narcissists admit faking empathy and feelings to get what they want from other people. This behavior exhausts narcissists, especially covert narcissists, because it’s challenging to keep up an entire persona for a significant amount of time. These narcissists need a break to reveal their true selves.
Will narcissists ever get what they deserve?
If you have left a narcissist, understand that you don’t need to seek revenge or hope for karma. The narcissist already leads an empty shell of a life, and they will not change. Can you imagine not being genuinely ecstatic at the birth of your child but instead worried the baby would take attention from you? Can you fathom watching a parent or best friend cry because you told them they were irrational about something they believe in or even fear? What a sad, meaningless existence. Narcissists will never truly feel happiness, joy, or wonder.
If you do want vengeance, the best way to enforce punishment is to build your best life. Don’t look back. Live each day in appreciation and gratitude for what you do have, including freedom from the narcissist. When a narcissist can’t take your peace and joy away permanently, you’ve won. That, my friend, is revenge.