One of the key indicators of the narcissistic way of life is the persistent effort to remain superior.  Narcissists have deemed themselves better than you, and it’s not likely that you can say or do anything to dissuade them from such delusional thinking.  In the process, though, they do not understand how their pronouncement of superiority over you damages themselves every bit as much as it damages you.

When narcissists presume chronic superiority over others, they lose their sense of humanity.  Failing to see themselves as a mixed bag of pluses and minuses just like the next person, they develop psychological blindness as they hyperfocus on why you should be deemed inferior.  It is twisted logic, yet their rationalization skills override simple common sense.  The net result is them living a life of psychological corruption.

To get an idea of the ways they sabotage their own quality of life, notice the many patterns they maintain that bring them down.

  • They take delight in others’ pain.
  • They see no redeeming value in you, beyond your utility in the moment.
  • Their binary thinking inhibits the ability for understanding nuance or complexities.
  • They cannot see their role in your demise.  They lazily assume if you struggle, you did it to yourself.
  • “Tasting blood,” they become greedy for increased ill-gotten gain.
  • They refuse to admit (let alone discuss) their frailties…and there are many.
  • Their alleged superiority is fed by contempt.
  • They have committed themselves to haughtiness and hubris, presuming no need for accountability to anyone.
  • By insisting upon being the ultimate, they become cartoons…persons of distorted reality, a joke.
  • A judgmental attitude perpetuates an ongoing lack of peace.

Do the above patterns seem to be a winning formula for a life of success and contentment?  Of course not, but amazingly, narcissists don’t see the pitfalls associated with their alleged superiority nor do they deem themselves as anything other than ideal.

What they cannot see is what you need to see. 

Their presumption of superiority is a complete ruse.  They are phony.  Their manner of life is detached from any semblance of love.  It requires a complete absence of emotional balance.  It is a blatantly transparent effort to cover up personal inadequacies.  And it illustrates almost zero insight…in fact, the need for personal insight doesn’t even cross their minds.

Simply put, when narcissists live with an attitude of alleged superiority, it takes them down the path toward evil.  Their presumed “success” is accompanied by denigration, humiliation, psychological annihilation, psychological assault, and a commitment to condescension.

That is certainly not a formula for the good life.

Can you understand why I say they sabotage their own alleged superiority?  What kind of person would willfully choose to treat people repeatedly with disdain?  What kind of person feels they are automatically a winner when they deem another as a loser?  In the process of treating others lowly, they become lowly.  It is an ironic insight they miss entirely.

Healthy individuals find no delight in turning the spotlight onto others for the purpose of creating feelings of inferiority and inadequacy.  Instead, they find pleasure in elevating others.  Though they are not driven by shallow rewards, they are indeed rewarded when they choose to treat others as equal…worthy of dignity, respect, and civility.

The allegedly superior narcissist will probably never understand the futility of their ways, but you can stake your life on the integrous alternative.

~Les Carter, Ph.D.

To watch the video on this topic, click here.