A crucial first step in finding freedom is understanding the role of dependency in your life, and bringing it into balance. When you are in controlling relationships, imbalance is in play as you are so busy reacting to others’ requirements that you show signs of emotional instability.
An important key to finding freedom is the realization of how dependency keeps you so tied to others that you fail to remain true to your basic needs. You will need to stay committed to self-consultation as you choose to take your distinct self-honoring initiatives, with or without the other’s cooperation.
Instead of helping you find balance, controllers communicate one primary message: “Look to me and I’ll tell you how to feel and respond.” The net result is an ongoing inclination toward erratic, reactive emotions.
Controllers don’t want you to listen to your inner voice. Your independence is a threat to them, so if they can keep your attention away from your inner voice, they have succeeded in keeping you tied to their agenda, as dysfunctional as that is. That’s how imbalanced dependency is perpetuated.
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